


We're just friends... right?

by blackkikyo



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:58:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10023815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkikyo/pseuds/blackkikyo
Summary: Jinki doesn't know what's going on between Kibum and Jonghyun, but he's there when it falls apart.





	

Jinki thought it had all begun on that day; one of those rare days when they had actually had a whole evening off, all five of the group. After a quick run-through of the next day’s schedule, their manager had left them with a “Take care” and a smile, and the boys hurriedly walked off to relax. Taemin had decided to go to one of the dance studios in the SM building, after convincing Jinki that he had been waiting for an opportunity to just dance anything that wasn’t one of their routines, since he already knew them by heart. Minho had left with him to visit their hyungs and thank them for taking care of the group. Jinki had felt stupid for not coming up with that himself. Jinki ended up alone in the lounge, while Kibum and Jonghyun had locked themselves into one of the rooms - God knows to do what - until Jonghyun left the dorm, completely ignoring Jinki’s calls after him. The leader pouted slightly at the treatment and sank back onto the couch he had occupied for the evening. He had pressed the play button on his iPod and the song he had paused started playing again. He sighed and closed his eyes, almost falling asleep, until the space left on the couch by his feet sank down and he opened his eyes again. Kibum had looked at him with a small smile and Jinki smiled back, removing the headphones from his ears.

“Where did Jonghyun ah go?” he asked the younger, his voice slightly hoarse from sleep.

“He got a call from Heechul hyung, telling him that he had to come over fast as hell.” He grinned at Jinki’s shocked face. “Hyung’s words, not mine. Anyhow, it’s more like he was summoned rather than invited. Not that Jonghyun ah cares either way…” He looked away, his grin replaced with a slight frown. Jinki noticed the change and he sat up.

It wasn’t until then that he had realized that Kibum’s hair was slightly more ruffled than usual and his lips were redder than Jinki had seen before. And it was only Kibum’s quirk of an eyebrow that told him that he was staring. Embarrassed, he looked away and cleared his throat.

“What are you doing, hyung?”

Jinki looked back at Kibum with wide eyes and the younger chuckled. “I mean, what were your plans for the evening? Or were you going to fall asleep already?”

Jinki frowned and put away his iPod. “I was planning on catching some sleep, but if you want to we can watch some movie?” He hadn’t expected Kibum’s whole face to light up by the question. The younger grinning widely and nodded his head, and so Jinki stood up and put on some movie they hadn’t had time to watch yet while Kibum went to turn off the lights.

Jinki went back to the couch and leaned back, getting comfortable as the intro started. Both boys were quiet.

Ten minutes into the movie, Jinki had heard some movements from his side and before he could look to see what Kibum was doing, he felt the younger’s head fall onto his shoulder. He jumped at the unexpected feeling, but stayed still otherwise.

He explained the fast beatings of his heart as the effect of being surprised.

 

 

The second thing Jinki thinks of is the time when he had woken up early on a Saturday, for once not having to wake up the others as soon as he himself was up. Instead, he had quietly sneaked into the kitchen, to serve himself some breakfast and enjoy the, unusually, quiet morning.

He had been sitting by the table, eating a sandwich and looking out the window, when Kibum had stepped into the room. He had first spotted him through the glass and turned to greet the younger with a smile.

He had almost choked on the food in his mouth as he saw the younger clearly. Dressed only in a pair of jogging pants that were hanging way too low on his hips (Jinki had wondered how they didn’t fall off), Kibum yawned widely and scratched his stomach lazily, while walking over to the sink. Grabbing a glass, he filled it with water and the turned to look at Jinki, leaning against the counter.

It was then that the older noticed the purple-ish marks that decorated Kibum’s upper half. They were placed on places that were too awkward to be normal bruises, and he realized that they were hickeys. He swallowed, and looked at Kibum with a slightly freaked out expression. The younger frowned and swallowed the last of the water. “What is it, hyung?” he asked, and looked down on himself. Noticing what his hyung was staring at, he blushed and walked out of the room, the glass still in his hand.

Jinki was frozen in place, still trying to pretend that the sight of the younger’s torso wasn’t burned into his mind when Minho walked in.

 

 

Jinki didn’t talk to Kibum about the incident. Not until the day when he, Minho and Taemin had been eating lunch in the kitchen, Jinki and Taemin discussing school while Minho listened to them. Kibum and Jonghyun had declined to eat with them – if the silence that Jinki had received from their room when asking had been anything to go by.

But their calm meal had been disturbed by raised voices coming out from the bedroom, the sound increasing more and more until a door slammed shut and they saw Jonghyun race past the door to the kitchen with a murderous look on his face, as Kibum’s muffled, yet still loud shouts were heard from the bedroom. They had heard the front door being opened and closed shut with a loud bang.

The three in the kitchen looked at each other, the two younger’s eyes pleading with Jinki to make him go and see Kibum. With a sigh, he had stood up and walked to the bedroom. He paused outside and took a deep breath, wishing, not for the first time, that he hadn’t been chosen as the leader. He had opened the door and stepped inside.

Jinki had been prepared for a lot, but the sight of Kibum lying on his bed, a blanket the only thing that covered his seemingly naked body and staring at the ceiling with dead eyes, was something that hadn’t crossed his mind Kibum didn’t seem to take notice of him, where he had stood still in the doorway, unsure of what he was going to. That was, until he saw the silent tears running down from the other boy’s eyes into his messy hair.

Jinki couldn’t remember that he had even moved his feet, but he was kneeling beside the bed, staring worriedly at Kibum, before he noticed it himself. He didn’t say anything; the words were stuck in his throat, until Kibum closed his eyes, more tears falling from the corners.

“What happened?” Jinki had asked in a quiet voice; he didn’t trust his voice as it was right now. Kibum just shook his head. “Kibum ah, you have to tell me. Why did Jonghyun ah run out of the apartment? Did you have a fight?”

Kibum had been so quiet, that Jinki was afraid that the younger wouldn’t answer. Just as he was about to ask again, Kibum opened his mouth. “That bastard… I told him… that I was okay with not having a relationship..”, he had said, in a steady voice that was contradicting the broken state he seemed to be in, “I told him that we could just play around, have fun… He was the one who wanted it.”

Jinki’s mind had worked faster than it had in a while, and he realized what had been going on right in front of his eyes. The bits of the puzzle seemed to fit all together; he wondered how he could have been so blind.

Kibum swallowed and opened his eyes; the tears had stopped. “And when I actually fall for him he wants to break it off. Saying that he never wanted to be more than friends with benefits.”

Jinki had heard enough. He pulled Kibum to him, holding him close without letting the covers fall from the boy’s thin body. The younger was almost completely limp against him, except the hand that was firmly holding onto his shirt, threatening the material to break.

Jinki pretended that this wasn’t the point where he fell in love with Kibum.

 

 

He thought back, not without blushing, to the time when Kibum had sneaked into his bed for the first time. He had been surprised, and had therefore tensed up, but the younger’s nimble fingers quickly made him relax and soon it was him who was running his hands over warm, soft skin, while his lips left butterfly kisses over Kibum’s sensitive neck and collarbones. Jinki had been nervous and slightly afraid, but his instincts took over and he had been unable to stop himself.

Kibum let out a soft moan, and pulled Jinki up to kiss him, further moans drowned in the elder’s warm mouth. They had to stay quiet, as the others laid not even a meter away from them, deep asleep.

The feeling of being inside of Kibum had been amazing; Jinki had even lost himself in the warmth of the other and he didn’t even realize that his body was moving on its own. He could feel, see, smell, taste only Kibum; it was as if the entire world had shrunk down to only this boy. Jinki had been pretty sure he’d never be able to ever feel something as incredible as this.

But all good things end, and even as Jinki had done his best to hold onto that precious moment, doing everything to try and make it last forever, it didn’t take too long for him to come crashing over the edge into completion. With one last thrust he had felt himself tense up and empty himself inside of Kibum. The strength of his climax made him collapse on top of the younger, gasping for air. It wasn’t until then that he had noticed the sticky mess between them. He had looked up at the Kibum and saw the other’s closed eyes, and sweaty but content face. He had been… beautiful.

Jinki knew he wouldn’t be able to let him go.

 

 

He thought of those moments as he lay in his bed, the smooth curve of Kibum’s back pressed against his front.

His lithe form rose and fell with every breath the younger took, and Jinki slowly caressed the boy’s arm. They both stayed silent, neither sleeping, but deep in their own thoughts.

The rest of the members were fast asleep, the steady breathing clear in the otherwise quiet room, so Kibum’s voice was only a faint whisper as he spoke.

“This isn’t for real, is it hyung?”

Jinki’s hand stilled and he frowned. “What isn’t, Kibum ah?”

“This. Us.” Kibum turned around in the elder’s arms. “Not like there is an ‘us’. We’re still as we were before, right? There are no real feelings behind this…”

He swallowed the lump that had appeared in his throat. “Kibum ah, I- ”

Kibum pressed his lips hard against Jinki’s, slight desperation behind the action. “Please, hyung. We’re still just friends, right?”

And Jinki tried to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking as he whispered a faint ‘yes’.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this should have been longer than what it ended up being, but I couldn't see it go anywhere happy and the last part broke my heart as I wrote it, so...


End file.
